Home > Columns > Christmas Letter 2003
Christmas Letter, 2003
It was just one of the many trips I had made with my grandmother
to her old place of work. Hamady’s was a small chain of
grocery stores in the Flint area, where she had worked over two
decades in the meat department. This was back in the day when
whole sides of beef came in and butchers made the cuts right
there while you waited. Since my parents were divorced, my mom
spent the day working, while “Gram” played the role of
caregiver, so it was customary for me to accompany her on her
trips to the grocery store (it also allowed me to “lobby” for,
or to at least guarantee that we came back with “pop-tarts”)
This trip to visit her old co-workers was not unlike the
others. While in the “meat locker” she’d laugh it up with the
gang while I’d stand around in awe of these huge red and white
hunks of meat hanging from large hooks on a motorized track. Her
old buddies would move these nearly whole cows around like they
were nothing, and begin dicing them into pieces that slowly
began to look like the steaks we’d eat at home. In fact, most
trips were like this; ending in such a way that we’d leave with
some of the best looking meat you’d ever want to cook.
This visit, however, stands out because of what my Gram said to
me as we were about to leave. The store manager was in a
conversation with a customer who had a complaint. She asked me,
“If you were that man, and you knew for sure the price of that
loaf of bread was 89 cents, but the customer claimed the sales
flyer said it was 79 cents, which one of you is correct? Seeing
it was a trick question, I chose the obvious and said I would be
right. My grandmother,always big on teaching us things, said,
“The customer is ALWAYS right”.
This lesson and hundreds
like them were among the many things I learned from the woman I
called “Gram”. I had always realized how many of these lessons I
have incorporated into my life and my thinking. Not everyone
getting this letter were fortunate enough to have met my
Grandma, but I know you are familiar with the lessons she
taught. Many learn them from a mother or father, or someone
significant in your childhood. I learned them from a beautiful
woman I called “Gram”. “Gram” passed away this November. And
while I shed a tear just thinking about her, I know she’s in a
better place. Usually when I would give her a hard time for
trying to teach me something, she’d always quip “you’ll miss me
when I’m gone”. She was right.
I take comfort in knowing she hasn’t had to suffer the past few years’
editions of my Christmas Letter, unlike many of you. So without further ado,
let the saga continue…
Let me start this years’ letter by way of
review regarding the fallout over last years’ edition. It is a full year
later and my opinion of last years Pulitzer quality work is even higher than
when I first wrote it. I know a few of you had issues with what you
perceived as a psychological glimpse of a deeply disturbed soul, being that
I was somehow severely depressed, and was taking it out on you the reader.
For those of you that felt that way, you indicate to me that you DIDN’T READ
THE LETTER! It’s all about the music! The whole point was that there is no
other time of year where we pull out really really overplayed music AND that
it’d be nice to have someone creative come up with some NEW Christmas music
for us to enjoy, rather than simply make an album of their own renditions
which are really no different than the 50 year old original. I am simply
taking the same law in the music industry that “new” sells and applying it
to Christmas music.
In my judgment, the results indicate that last
years’ letter received an approval rating of about 80% (meaning 80% managed
to find the sarcastic humor in it). Danette believes its more like 50/50. If
she’s right, that simply means I’m “controversial”, and I’m ok with that. I
tell her each year that when I sit down to write, I never know what’s going
to come out. The purpose of this letter is to provide those of you whom we
haven’t been able to keep in touch with a small glimpse into what has
occurred in our lives and in so doing keep us in even a small way connected.
I try to add the humor for those that either get bored with ANY letter, or
to keep those that were there to share these experiences with us, interested
in the letter. Yet I hesitate every year to sit down and clamor on about our
lives for fear of sounding like one of those mushy letters you get from a
loved one. Not that I’m knocking those letters, cause I value them just as
much, but they just aren’t me (they might be Danettes’ style, but I’m afraid
to even “go there”.) Anyway, before I share with you some reflections on the
year, I saw this cartoon just yesterday.
January
Shortly after experiencing the backlash from last years’
letter, I went on a weekend retreat at the Gethsemani Trappist Monastery
(Kentucky) where I was introduced to Monk Fruitcake and Monk Fudge, both
laced with Kentucky bourbon, and Monk Cheese. Some of you also know this
place as the home of Thomas Merton. Here, you are truly ALONE with God. The
mtto in the dining hall is “Silence is spoken here” and that was no joke. I
strongly recommend a weekend here to anyone, Catholic or otherwise. It is
very inviting.
(visit
http://www.gethsemanifarms.org/ to
place your order today).
March
|
|
We got an opportunity to go skiing while visiting my sisters’ family
in Oregon. Danette had never skied before so she took lessons on Mt.
Hood. Here she is returning up the “bunny” hill for another run,
while I give her a critique of her techniques. She did quite well,
but decided to wait and graduate to the big hills another time. |
|
May |
|
|
August |
|
The program required a 20 hour a week commitment for 31 weeks. They provided
all uniforms and equipment including gun and car. In return for a take home
car, I was expected to serve 24 hours a month: basically three shifts. About
half way through the program, it became clear that they expected more along
the lines of 6 to 8 shifts a month, for roughly 60 hours of service per
month. Despite thoroughly enjoying the physical training, the long nights,
and giving up a Saturday every week, I decided to drop from the program for
two reasons: the time commitment was simply too great given my day job, and
I just never could reconcile the idea of bad guys wanting to shoot me. I
spent a lot of time on this website:
http://www.odmp.org, reading about the
many ways officers are killed in the line of duty, and surprisingly,
gunshots are not number one. I strongly encourage everyone to visit this
site and take a look at those officers killed in your community. It’s very
enlightening. Right now, we read about US soldiers dying daily in Iraq, but
we need not look any further than our own town to learn of people dying to
protect our communities. I leave you with this thought: even though I
dropped out at the half way point, I received more police training than over
half the police officers on the street in this country. Think about that the
next time you get pulled over.
|
|
November |
|
|
|
December |
|
Christmas
Here we are again … a full year after last
years’ debacle/farce/fiasco/shambles of a letter. I decided to wait until
the end to give you an update on my current mental state re: Christmas.
Please take delight in knowing that I am enjoying this holiday season as
much as in previous years, which is to say I do not hate it. In fact, you’ll
take delight in knowing that I have one of my few, but favorite Christmas
CD’s playing: “December Makes Me Feel This Way”, by Dave Koz. This CD is a
great mini-study in my above point about Christmas music. The CD has 13
tracks on it, and only one is an original. At this very moment, “Winter
Wonderland” is playing which features a saxophone, guitar, harmonica,
mandolin and slide guitar set to a funky jazz/western style … it’s an
instrumental song. It’s very unique, but it’s the same old song. Thirteen
songs, only one original, and Dave Koz is considered one of the trendsetters
in jazz and saxophone music. However, that one original song made the whole
CD worth buying.
But I need to make one more point about Christmas
music…”White Christmas” was written by Irving Berlin in 1942. I know the man
WAS American music, but why do we listen to this song over and over and over
for the past 61 years without growing nauseous.
However, I digress
from my main point, which is: I’m ok. I’m not addicted to illegal
prescription painkillers (anymore…just kidding mom); I’m not sitting in the
dark; I’m not tipping the bottle. I’m ok. In fact, I actively participated
in the annual “decorating of the tree” (while I admit I don’t know why we
even needed a tree, but let us save that for another day.) The one activity
I do enjoy, we didn’t get to this year (yet) and that is putting up lights
on the house. It’s not a core part of the holidays, but I enjoy it for the
warm glow it gives the house. Mainly, the thing I most enjoy about Christmas
is spending never-ending time with close family and friends, but distance
and vacation time generally don’t afford enough of that. Perhaps that is why
I simply don’t enjoy Christmas as much as others. I strongly associate the
holidays as a time for being with those you love, and those that love you,
but the reality is far from the lofty expectations described in holiday
music.
So my Christmas wish for everyone this year is for you is
this: spend as much time as you can with those you care for most. If you
can’t spend much time with them, find a way. For in every person there are
lessons to be learned. Though I benefited from many years of living with my
Grandmother, even beyond the day I left for college, and knowing she taught
me more than anyone else, I know there are still many lessons she wants to
teach me. You were right Grandma, I do miss you when you’re gone.
Many wishes to you this Christmas season!
Patrick and Danette